All Night Long!!!!

All Night Long!

It often occurs at night, is better when it lasts longer, it is best with the one you love, usually takes place in bed (though other venues will suffice in a pinch), takes some preparation but comes naturally to most, and it starts with the letter “s”. What is it?

If you are thinking of anything other than SLEEP, you clearly do not have an infant in your home. Yes, this morning we celebrated that Caleb made it through the night without waking up and crying. And while we are ecstatic with our young son’s monumental achievement, we are even more grateful that WE got to sleep through the night without being woken by fitful tears. This was a great day in the Harris home.

To make it even better, it was a drastic improvement over yesterday in which Caleb spent much of the day with Mer – much to his dismay. At one point he even went into fitful tears just crying “daaaaaadaaaaaaa…… daaaaaaaadaaaaaaa” Just several days ago I was speaking to a good friend, Jen, who reminded us that with her two adopted children their growth was much more like a stair step than a steady upward climb. She also planted a seed of hope that bad days are most usually followed by a giant leap in development. Thank you, Jen, for your encouraging words. Today, he was happy happy happy.

We took these pictures after dinner tonight, and think they capture his demeanor pretty well.

On a sadder note, a dear friend of ours is in the hospital with several very serious conditions. Please say a prayer for Diane.

First Things First

So, we have had Caleb for fifteen days now. Looking back over the prior posts it is amazing to see how Caleb has progressed since we became a family of five. Since his arrival home, he has achieved several firsts. These are not quite as dramatic as “first airplane flight,” “first time in America,” etc., but they are important firsts, none the less.

Firstly, we had to get the boy a haircut. Sorry all you Kung Fu fans, but the doo had to go. As you can tell by the pics, he must have thought so, as well. I hope you like his new look.

Second, he was finally introduced to the family dog. We waited a bit on this as we wanted to give him a little time to adjust to the house first. We read that he was not used to animals, and may be a bit apprehensive at first. So much for that theory. Upon meeting our “first child”, Caleb promptly grabbed her by the ear. Other than that I don’t think he even knows or cares that she exists. Not exactly the love fest we were hoping for, but certainly better than the terror that could have been. I remember reading somewhere to be thankful for the small things.

Speaking of small things, Caleb’s most recent “first” is that he can finally put small pieces of food in his mouth. Up to this point he could either crush cheerios with his fingers, or stick his whole hand into his mouth and let the food in his hand slowly disintegrate: not a pretty sight. He is now making up for lost time, as he will use both hands to stuff cheerios or baby gold fish crackers into his mouth. He is now a little eating machine. He is doing great.

He still struggles with sleeping through the night. Given all that he has been through in the last two weeks, we’ll cut him some slack.

On a closing note, for this entry, we have been joyfully overwhelmed by the support of family and friends. The gifts to welcome Caleb and ease our transition have been quite helpful. But even more, the genuine excitement, enthusiasm, and interest, we see in the eyes of those we meet are awe inspiring. It is amazing to see the joy that this little guy is bringing into the lives of those who he has not even met yet. We can’t wait to introduce him to all of those who have shared in this journey with us. I’m certain you’ll love him as much as we do.

Nine Travel Tips and Other Miscellany

The last post before leaving China, I mentioned that I would provide at least one posting for the travel benefit of those who are making this journey in the near future. Please feel free to ask questions of anything you want to know that I haven’t covered, and I will tell you what I can.

First observation: Things Sleepy. Jet lag is a drag. It is now 12:30 AM on what is now our official 2^nd day back, and I am wide awake after waffling all day between random bouts of narcolepsy and periodic spasms of insomnia. Make the most of the time you are actually coherent, as in the few days your body adjusts coherency will be a valued commodity.

Second observation: Things Poopy. While Caleb is our third child, I had forgotten the inherently mysterious and powerful qualities of baby poop. If there is a leak, baby poop will find it. If you are in your last pair of clean clothes and running late for an anything important, baby poop knows and will somehow spring forth to remind you of its magical Houdini-like properties. We could trim millions from NASA’s budget by using baby poop instead of engineers and complicated equipment to find microscopic leaks on the Space Shuttle. This is powerful stuff. That said, when you receive you new child, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS bring a spare diaper, some wipes and a change of clothes for baby. If you are so much as going downstairs to get a diet coke from the 7-11 across the street from your hotel you will need money for the diet coke, and the required “equipment” for the baby. My general rule of thumb is this: if you are going further than you wish to carry a drippy, poopy baby, at arms length bring the “equipment.” Remember, the likelihood that baby poop will display is magical qualities is directly proportional to both the urgency of your appointment and your lack of proper “equipment.”

Third Observation: Things Musical. As much as I fully intended to absorb as much Chinese culture as I could, it was great to hear some familiar tunes at times. I brought a little cable that lets me play my iPod through my stereo or any other device that has “RCA” inputs (the little red, white, and yellow plugs you see on the front or back of your TV or sound system). No, I didn’t bring my stereo. I just plugged one end of the cable into my iPod, and the other into the front (or in one case, the back) of the room’s TV. Yes, I know it’s geeky, but I was a rockin’ geek. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go to Circuit City, Radio Shack, etc., and tell them what you are trying to do. If you paid more than $10, you are paying way too much. If you have a 5th generation iPod or newer, get the three prong RCA cable and you can watch any movies or videos you have downloaded.

Fourth observation: Things Electrical. Don’t bring a “converter.” Instead, just by some “plug adapters” so that your American plug will fit into the Chinese wall socket. It’s like this. The bad news is that Chinese electricity is on different cycles and volts than US electricity. They run 220 volts, and we run 110. I have know idea what cycles are, but I someone told me they are different. What this basically means is that the electricity in China has to be “converted” so that it doesn’t blow your US stuff up when you plug it in. The good news is that most of the stuff you will want to plug in already comes with its own converter. Your laptop, iPod, kid’s DVD player, camera, etc., all have a little “box” that is either in the middle of your cord or at the end of your cord where it plugs into your wall. This is one instance where it pays to read the fine print. Look at the writing and read it. It will probably say something like this: “Input: 110 – 240V ~ 50/60Hz.” Now, I’m not an electrical engineer, nor do I play one on TV, but I understand this to mean that you can just plug these kind of items into a wall. Since I had the converter, I didn’t take my chances. But, I wish I had known this before I spent $40 on a Brookstone converter that blew out three days into the trip. I could have saved myself a bunch of trouble in trying to track down a converter in the hotel. Just be sure you have enough adapters to plug in whatever you want to plug in and be sure that your “box” will actually handle the Chinese volts. So, unless you are splitting atoms, you’ll be fine. Just read the fine print first.

But wait, there’s more!! For the gentlemen, each bathroom has a special plug that puts out the right volts for your electric razor. For the ladies (and I guess some gentleman) each bathroom is also equipped with its very own hairdryer. In terms of curling irons, you’re on your own.

Fifth Observation: Things to Wear and Wash. Plan ahead and pack light, light, light. There is no point in packing two or three week’s worth of clothes that you will have to carry around with you. Bring clothes you can wear several times before washing. Those who live and work around me, will be relieved to know that this is not a practice I regularly engage in.

Have your laundry done by a service outside of your hotel. The hotel is very proud of their laundry service, and you will pay accordingly. In Nanchang our guide directed us to a laundry service that picked up and delivered. We later discovered one right outside of the hotel (Tiffanies). In Guangzhou, there are enough laundry services to wash the clothes of everyone in China. In Beijing, you will need to ask your guide or adoption agency how you might find one.

For the new family addition, most of those who brought lots of clothes for baby were unable to use the majority of them. You really won’t know your new child’s size until you meet him/her. Your guide will take you to Wal-Mart (yes, there are lots of Wal-Mart’s in China), or some other big store where you can stock up on proper attire after you have your new bundle of joy.

Just remember, if you pack it you will have to carry it at one point or another.

Sixth observation: Things for the Kids. We traveled with a five and nine year old. Both of them greatly overestimate their ability and desire to carry their own stuff through an airport. When the chips are down, and everyone is tired, hungry and irritable, in the middle of an airport, this is one of those battles that you as a parent really can’t afford to loose. As much as you might be tempted to say, “Fine, we’ll leave it right here,” you cannot. As much as you might want to be the gracious parent and carry junior’s stuff for him or her, your hands will be full of all the important stuff you didn’t check, or you will be pushing an overflowing cart with the luggage you did check (because you will not follow the Fifth Observation). We got each of our kids a rolling backpack for their carry on. They were so excited you would have thought we just gave them all the tea in China. It is basically a backpack, but also has wheels and a pull-out handle like most rolling luggage. We got ours at the Bass Outlet. You can also get them at LL Bean. The advantage to this over the kid’s version of the suitcase looking carry on is that you have way more pockets for organizing and easy access. Plus, the bag also can double as a cushion/pillow in tiring times or for rides on the cart things.

Seventh Observation: Those Cart Things. In US Airports those cart things cost money. And it seems every time you go through a checkpoint you have to give up the one you have and then pay if you want another one. In China, the cart things are free and they are just about everywhere. Take advantage of it. Heck, get a cart for each piece of luggage and have a parade. Let each kid get a cart and have races in them. One of my fond memories of childhood trips to Germany is when my Uncle Wilhelm and I took turns pushing each other in one of those cart things at the train station. Let the kids have some fun. Besides, they will have been cooped up in a plane and will have some steam to let out. Trust me, if this activity were illegal or frowned upon in China we would have found out.

Eighth Observation: Things to Drink. Don’t drink the water from faucets in China. While you probably won’t end up with General Tsao’s Revenge if you do, note that none of the Chinese drink their own water. When in Rome, do as the Romans. When in China, do as the Chinese. Drink bottled water, tea, or beer. Like laundry, your hotel is also very proud of their bottled water. They might provide you with some complimentary bottles, but these won’t be enough. In Nanchang and Guangzhou, Holt (our adoption agency) provided us with bottles of water at a fraction of the price from the hotel. Beijing, though, is an entirely different story. Go to a corner market and you can get a case of water for your room, for less than half of what the hotel charges for one bottle. Just leave the extra water, unless you want to be strip searched at the airport for transporting suspicious liquids. Which leads to my last observation for tonight – or this morning.

Ninth Observation. Things Not to Bring on a Plane in China. We were told that in mid March someone was caught trying to sneak explosives onto a plane in Beijing. To say that airport security is a little high strung right now is an understatement. When they say “no liquids on the plane” they really mean “no liquids on the plane.” There is none of the US 3 oz. and under stuff. This applies to toothpaste, those little energy boost drinks, lotions, etc. It is by the grace of God that I was able to carry on some saline solution for my contacts, and some milk and baby food. You cannot even bring bottled water on the plane. However, they will give you more water on the plane. If you are afraid you will loose it, check it.

Hopefully, this will answer some of the questions for you future or vicarious travelers. If not, post a question, and I will tell you what I know.

We're Finally Home

After 34 hours we are safe and home. Not sure how much sleep we had, but I know mine was minimal. Somehow, the excitement of making it home carried us through. Also, I think jet lag has a bit to do with it - right now my body thinks it is 3:30 in the afternoon, not morning. It thinks I should be getting ready for dinner, not longing for bed. So, that's why we are ALL up right now. I have no idea what 3:30 this afternoon will bring.

This first pic us of us leaving on the tarmac at Guangzhou Airport. We look happy and well rested, don't we?















Three hours later we landed in Beijing, where we got to experience the infamous "Terminal 3." This is not a new video game. Rather it is just what its name indicates: the third terminal at the airport. I must say this is huge, though. From what I hear, it is the largest enclosed public gathering place in the world (or something like that). It is over a mile from end to end. Fortunately, we did not have to walk the entire mile. So, on this trip, in addition to growing our family, we also experienced the world's largest outdoor square (Tiananmen), the worlds largest ferris wheel (in Nanchang), and now the worlds largest enclosed public gathering place (Terminal 3 Beijing Airport). Not to shabby, eh?


After this photo op in Beijing, we stopped taking pictures because 13 hours of flying to Newark, and experiencing the oh so pleasant Newark/New York security and baggage handling do wonders to one's photogenic qualities - and desire to photograph or be photographed. However, as all adventures, we made it through and are home. The kids traveled extremely well. We avoided any major diaper blowouts - even though we were well prepared with two changes of clothes for Caleb, and one each for both Mer and me.

We are thrilled to be home, and have a lot of unpacking to do - both literally and metaphorically. Thankfully, we came home with mostly clean laundry!! I'm not sure if that can be extended into metaphor or not. Time will tell. This has been an incredible journey for our family. Most amazing was being so reliant upon and experiencing the they myriad of ways by which God grants his grace to us: not only in the big things like a new son, but also in daily ways in which we are sustained in body, mind, and spirit. There is much to be said for getting out of your familiar patterns and habits for for a spiritual "tune up" and to remind yourself of the things that are really of value in life. We remain thankful to for your continued prayers and words of encouragement and advice as we all transition from life on the road to life at home.

Over and out,

The Harris 5

We're Comming Home

What a great journey it has been. And just think, we have just started. Our bags are to be outside of our door in 45 minutes. Don’t know why, other than that the Chinese love to have a plan. It seems that 10:30 PM luggage pickup is part of the master plan. In the morning we will meet some of our tour group at 6:00 AM to get on the bus to go to the airport. Guangzhou to Beijing to Newark to Orlando. If I’ve done my math right that is about 30 hours of travel.

We spent our last day in Guangzhou doing a lot of kid stuff: both for fun and for official stuff. We went to the zoo which is way better than the Beijing zoo. It is a combination zoo/safari. The kids loved it. Right when you walk in you are met by four people in animal costumes, each holding a
different baby animal. So, in the span of 5 minutes we each got to pet a baby kangaroo, brown bear, tiger, and orangutan. The rest of it was pretty good, but that was the highlight for all of us.

You have got to love this very subtle reminder to keep out of the tiger area. Check out those bones!!! No signs or language translation needed here.

On the way back Collin finally lost his first tooth. What a stud!! He worked it for weeks. And today he just yanked it right out. He was quite proud of himself.

The afternoon consisted of our paperwork and oath taking at the US Consulate. We received Caleb’s visa to enter the country. Upon arrival he will be a US citizen. There are no pictures of this. They don’t allow any cameras inside the building, and with security being the way it is, I didn’t take my chances outside either. First, I wanted to actually be able to return home with my family. Second, I didn’t want to be that guy you hear about on the news who spent three weeks in a Mongolian jail cell for taking suspicious photos outside the US Consulate. If you want to see it that badly, you’ll have to come see it for yourself. However, there are far more impressive sights to see in China.

The wrapped up with a great dinner at the local Thai restraint with some good friends the Saubers. Walking home from dinner Caleb wanted to do some walking on his own, and was actually quite successful. You should have seen him squeal with delight and pride. He was quite the ham. We finished our celebration with some ice cream and a playtime at the local park… a fitting beginning to the next leg of our journey.

China Pics From Abbie

Abbie wanted me to be sure to post this one picture she took of her brother. This is tonight at dinner. He plays this little tongue game, and she caught it on film. In posting this, I found several others that shed some light on China from her perspective. It is neat to see what she found important, interesting, or just worth photographing.





This is Caleb shoe shopping with his mom. He came with one pair of shoes that were already too small. Abbie accompanied him on his first shopping trip with Mom for some new shoes.












This is some sort of fruit that she thought pretty cool. The fruit selection and variety in China is incredible, esp. in Guangzhou. The climate is similar to Florida. Why don't we grow this kind of stuff there?










Here is Collin and his friend Cormack at church on Sunday morning. I love having children in church, but now i know why we have children's sermons in which the kids are sent to children's church, and why we try to limit the service to an hour. The lady next to them was very patient. I have no idea how the people behind us were, as I was afraid to look back.






Here is a picture Abbie took of the church on Sunday, after service. Not bad for a 9 year old with a 5 mexapixel point and shoot.

Two Days and Counting

As we near the end of our time in Guangzhou – and China – we do so with mixed emotions. On the one hand, we are so ready to get home; we miss our friends and family. On the other hand, we love it here and will miss the friends and relationships we have made here. Our Holt guide, Kathryn, has been tremendous. You can tell that she loves what she does, and she is great at it. She and her son have been a Godsend for our family. Our entire family just love to be around them both.

Today we had a tour arranged of a local school. We spent about an hour sharing songs, teaching them tongue twisters, and getting a tour of the school by the children. We were assigned a group of six fourth graders who spoke near perfect English, and were so excited to show us their school. If I could speak half as much Chinese as they spoke English I would be thrilled. I can’t even manage the correct pronunciation for “thank you.” I’ve been told that if I miss pronounce it I am saying “toilet,” which is the last thing I want to do. Since I can’t remember what the correct way is, I say them both. No wonder people look at me a little oddly. Anyhow, I am digressing.

Abbie and Collin were enthralled with the school. I think the highlight for them was getting to the roof garden and combination aviary/monkey-house. I am now convinced
that every school needs a pet monkey. In the states we have school mascots. I even remember in 5^th grade when Brian M. managed to get the 5^th grade class to have a pet mouse. But a monkey!!! How cool is that. Grant, I think that PTF will be working on that for Masters. No, this picture is not of the monkey.

After the school tour, Joe (one of the adopting dads) and I went to the Qingping Market. Picture old China – alleys as narrow as a cart, winding as a snake, and smelly as you-know-what. This is a huge open air market that covers entire city blocks. It’s not that we wanted to buy anything; we just had to experience it. I’m glad we did.

BTW, if anyone knows how to rotate pics in blogger, I'd love to know. I can edit and save them in Picassa, but when it comes time to post, none of my edits (like rotating) actually show. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

This final photo tries to convey just how big and populated China’s cities are. This has been the first clear and sunny day since our arrival in Beijing. Guangzhou has a population of fourteen million people. It is a medium sized city by China standards. Look at the size of the buildings that stretch from horizon to horizon. If you double click on the picture you should be able to enlarge the pic in a new window. The incredible thing is that they are building even more everywhere in China. When we were driving to the airport in Nanchang I looked out the window of our bus as was able to count 23 construction cranes at one time. To say that the crane is China’s national bird is not an overstatement.

Tomorrow is our consulate appointment, and we leave the next day. I’ll post before we leave Guangzhou and will then be offline for our travels. Upon our return I’ll keep you up to speed on Caleb’s development. In addition, I’ll spend some in review of travel lessons for those who will be taking this road (both literally and figuratively) in the future.

Peace. The Harris 5

Another Day in Paradise

It’s almost like we are getting into a routine with Caleb. We are getting to know his idiosyncrasies, his preferences, and his signals. He is also starting to learn ours. We are so glad that we have photos and this blog to remind us of what he was like just a week ago. His personality is blossoming right before our eyes. I now remember our Nanchang guide, Lisa, telling us that this would happen, and I had no idea how right she was. Simply put, Caleb just fits with us. It is amazing to see. Tonight when we were out strolling and walking, Caleb was out of his carrier and we were just letting him walk and play. A really nice Chinese lady came up to say hello. She tried to pick him up and he freaked out. While most parents would be encouraging their children to be more friendly, at this stage in Caleb’s transition into our family it is a good thing. It is indicative that he feels safe and secure around us, and currently has no interest in “mommy shopping.” He knows where his bread is buttered – and he knows where he is loved. This is a good thing. Whether or not this will change when we return home and he discovers that ice cream and Cheetos are not part of the Harris family daily diet remains to be seen.

Today wasn’t the most exciting day, which was kind of nice. Mer took Caleb for his medical exam, and another dad and I took our other kids swimming. Well... we watched them swim. I think that all children under the age of ten years old are part Polar Bear. Even though it is warm here, the pool water is not heated and it is still early spring. It was way to cold for us dads. The kids didn’t seem to mind. Caleb’s medical exam went smashingly well. He has grown four centimeters (about 1 ½ inches) since his last exam prior to adoption.

In addition, we participated in some sort of adoption tradition here at the White Swan Hotel. They have these red couches that they use for the Red Couch Photos. This is where all the adopted children are dressed in their traditional Chinese outfits and placed on the couch for a photo shoot. How anyone has ever managed to get this picture to work is beyond me. To call it organized chaos is a tremendously exaggerated compliment. We ended up with the Mom and Adopted Children Red Couch Photo. It is a cool idea that looks much better on paper than in practice.

The cool thing that came out of this experience, was that I discovered another Hollywood look. From this angle, doesn’t he look like the dude from Kung Fu with that long wispy hair on the back of his head? Who would have thought we could have such a multifaceted little personality.

Two more days in Guangzhou, and we will be flying home. Can’t wait to see our friends and family.

A Very Happy Boy

Our last leg of this journey has been a great way to wrap up our journey in China. Since I didn’t post yesterday, let me bring you up to speed a bit.

Our plane ride to Guangzhou was a breeze. Below you can see a pic of Caleb and Mer on his first ride in a plane. He is looking good and quite happy.

Overall, he is really doing well. When I last posted about him, I mentioned that he was playing on the bed and exploring the one room where we were staying. He is continuing to make what we both consider to be important developmental markers in his attachment to us. In our new place he continues to explore and play on his own. He will leave one room for another without crying, enjoys playing both by himself and with others, and is quite proud of himself when he finds something new. You have got to see that smile. Another really great thing that happened today was that while we were picking up a few warm weather clothes for him, something startled him. Rather than crying, he repositioned himself and clung to Mer. Do you remember how I was asking you to pray several days ago for Caleb’s attachment to Mer? All is going really well. Thank you.

We also see that Caleb might have a future as an Elvis impersonator. I’m trying to get him a silk and bedazzled Elvis outfit while we are here, but the folks here don’t seem to know what I’m talking about. Maybe back in Vero? You should see the boy dance. Well, it's not really a "dance." It's more like smiling really big and moving his body side to side - kind of like a middle aged hippie holding up a lighter and swaying back and forth during the long the version of "Hotel California" at an Eagle's reunion concert. I think the hippie is smiling for another reason. But, I'm starting to digress.

We also found a great little public park here in Guangzhou that is combination playground, exercise equipment, teenage hotspot, and senior center. To top it all off, it is right down the street from Starbucks. It’s quite a cool spot. The people here love to be outside and active. It is never empty, and never overcrowded. Everyone just gets along, smiles, laughs, and drinks their Starbucks coffee.

I'm not sure what the above pic is from, but everyone looked happy, so I thought it worth posting.

If you are getting ready to travel to Guangzhou, here are a couple of observations worth noting.

1) Bring bug spray. If you’re lightly sensitive you will need it now. In a couple of weeks I can imagine everyone needing it.

2) If you have the opportunity, go to the Shamian Christian Church. It is a three minute walk from the White Swan. They have an English/Chinese service at 11:00, and it was amazing to be in such a mixed worship. Even though separated by language, it is an incredible experience to see how much we have in common with Christians around the globe. They do a tremendous job of making you feel welcome.

3) When at the Thai restaurant and you see a large piece of what looks like a red bell pepper in your dish, know that it is probably not a bell pepper. Rather, it is a piece of the mother of all hot red peppers. If you like hot peppers it is phenomenal, if you expect bell pepper, be ready for a ride.

4) While Shamian Island is a beautiful place, there are basically four things to do here. First, you can go to your scheduled visa, medical and consulate appointments. I highly recommend you keep these. Second, you can shop. Third, you can eat. Fourth, you can enjoy the beauty of this place and spend time with your family. This is not a major tourist center with Great Walls, teracota soldiers, etc. It is a major government and trade center and operates that way. There are armed guards at many entrances and gates because there are many consulates here. On the plus side, it is also a very safe place.

5) In terms of shopping, take your time. You will have plenty of time to visit, and visit, and visit.

6) In terms of eating, I suggest eating ice cream at least twice a day – especially if you are with children. Even better, get the kids ice cream and yourself a frosty cold one. You can get both at the Deli Shop just outside of the hotel.

Though I've said it many times before, I want to thank you for your comments and emails. Being connected with family and friends as we begin this new family adventure has meant a great deal to us. Even though we are literally half a world away, your words have been timely and very helpful. Thank you. We look forward to seeing you soon.

Abbie's Take On Caleb... And China

Today we went to the best massage ever! It was sooo cool. They massaged our head, shoulders, neck, back, arms, legs and feet for 90 minutes. It was so cheap (only $9)!

This was also my first experience with a squatty potty. It was so weird, but I managed to stay dry.

At breakfast, we met up with my friend Morgan, who we met in Beijing. Her little sister Claire is so cute. We had a lot of fun playing at the park, having ice cream and eating dinner together.

Caleb is getting used to us more and more every day. He is having fun now in the tub and he is not crying anymore when we change him.

Abbie

In Guanzhou Now

It’s been a long day, so the post will be short today. In perusing the prior posts, I realized I may have gotten a bit long winded. I guest what they say about sermons is also true about blog entries: it takes more time to write a short one. Anyhow, let me try to keep this short.

After a brief night’s sleep, we were up at 5 AM in order to be ready to get on the bus at 7 AM. We were then off to the airport to catch our flight to Guangzhou. (I can actually spell that without looking it up. Aren't you impressed?). It was Caleb’s first time on an airplane and he did remarkably well. Not even a tear. He just kept eating the cookie/cracker things that Mer stuffed into his mouth during our approach for landing.

For the other family we were traveling with, it was the first time their newly adopted eleven year old daughter had been on an airplane. You could hear her squeals of delight when we hit an air pocket. The past few weeks have been a world of firsts for her: first meal in a restaurant, first time in McDonalds, first time to sleep in a hotel… The only difference between she and Caleb is that she can put words to what she is experiencing. She will have memories of what her life once was and what it now is.

It is hard to imagine the world that we have removed Caleb from. For Caleb the change can only be experienced in primal emotion. It has got to be so hard on him, yet I also know that it is going to be so much better for him. The reactions of the Chinese people, and my experience at home confirm this. I have yet to see a single person here look at us with bewilderment, disdain, or contempt for taking one of “their” children. Instead we are met with curiosity, appreciation, and smiles. People want to take our picture: some ask and some just do it. As much as they love their own country, and their own children, they also know the opportunities that await them on the other side of the Pacific. It is hard to imagine us in the states being so enthusiastic about a foreigner taking one of “our” children to “their” country. Part of if might be ego. However, the greater part of our inability to comprehend our children going somewhere else for a better life is because we have such a great life in the states (and the majority of the Western world). Sure, we aren’t perfect, and we have our share of problems, but my time here has heightened my appreciation for the blessings we have in the good od’ US of A. If we follow the advice of that old hymn to count your blessings one by one, we will each spend a long time counting.

All in all we are doing great, Caleb is adjusting well, and we remain thankful for the blessings we have in one another and you.

Putting The Pieces Together

An appropriate summary of the day. The boy is doing phenomenal. Thank you for the continued prayers. We ended the day with Caleb awake and the other two children in bed. (FYI for adoptive parents traveling with children: get two rooms or a suite. We had two because of a Chinese law prohibiting more than four people from occupying one room. We are so thankful for that law - and you will be, too. I know that much of the world lives, sleeps, eats, plays, and works in a space smaller than most American bedrooms. This time in your life is not the time to make the point that you can do that, too. The reality is that we need more elbow room, and if you want to preserve your sanity, and enjoy some moments like this, you will need the space afforded by two rooms or a suite. Check with your agency's booking agent to see what deals are out there. Sometimes suites are a better bargain than two adjoining rooms. Also, get some stacking blocks when you get to China, or bring some with you. I've read numerous blog posts about new children being taken in by these. Stacking blocks seem to be the universal baby toy.)

This was the first time that he was content to have us near him instead of attached to him. He played with stacking blocks and a rattle for some time on the bed. Then he began to crawl around the bed, exploring his new territory. Eventually, he made it onto the floor, and "helped" us to pack as any baby would - by trying to unpack anything that he could get his hands on. The significance of this for us is that he is beginning to put his world together - he feels safe in our presence, and ready to explore and take in the immediate world around him. I've got to say that I am pretty impressed with the boy. God is certainly good to us.

In addition to Caleb putting some developmental pieces together, we were able to put some pieces of his life together, as well. We visited the orphanage that took him in, and infant room where he resided for several weeks before he went into foster care. While the staff does an incredible job there and loves those children with everything they have, words cannot begin to describe the gift Caleb's foster mother gave to him. We are not able to meet the foster parents, but we were able to meet the nurse who was his primary caretaker in the orphanage. She remembered him, and is a retired director of pediatric nursing and was quite sought after in her retirement. Somehow, it just didn't seem right to post those pics. Sorry; I know you'll understand.



In addition to the orphanage pictured above, we also drove by the hospital where Caleb was abandoned. The importance of all of this is for Caleb's future. For while he will know that he is part of our family, he will also know that his origins are different. The photos taken today will help him to see and understand where he first came from. I remember the countless hours looking at my own baby books that my mom so patiently put together. We can only hope that what we learned today will serve him well as he grows. It was also important for us to know and see as much of his beginnings as we are able to find out. It was tough, but not nearly as difficult or heartwrenching as I thought it would be. I almost didn't go, but am glad I did.



On a totally lighter note, we went to this Pagoda that is three blocks from our hotel. It is one of the three most important sites in Chinese history. Who would have known!! I have no idea what the other two sites are, nor do I know why this is number three. Never the less, it is called the TengWan Pagoda. The coolest part was getting Abbie and Collin dressed up in these traditional outfits and letting them sit in the dragon chair. Like Abbie needs anymore help in thinking that she is a princess. Unlike the pictures I just took for Caleb, I think I will hide Abbie's until she is twenty five. I think she is trying to corner the market on the whole princess thing. Isn't that what nine year olds do?



After climbing the Pagoda, they found a huge polished marble Yin-Yang emblem on the ground of the courtyard. Who would have known that a polished marble Yin-Yang is good for sliding, playing and general frivolity? They seem to be having a great time here.

Final bonus of the day. Since it is our last night in Nanchang, we celebrated. We went to a really nice Chinese restaurant: like private dining room, slate floors, classically modern, private bathroom in your private dining room, view overlooking the river, more servers than you knew what to do with - that kind of nice. Fifteen of us ate our fill, enjoyed the perfect amount of liquid refreshment, and spent less than $50 for all of us; not per person. In the states $50 wouldn't even cover the beer. I love Nanchang!!

Tomorrow morning we are off to Guangzhou for the last leg in our paper chase. Lot's of downtime, but also several important appointments at the American Consulate to pick up immigration paperwork. Another bonus is that I can finally wear shorts. While many of you might not think it such a big idea, this Floridian hardly goes three days without flip flops and shorts. My legs itch from wearing long pants for so long. But now I am whining, so it is time for bed. It is 11:30, and we have to be on the bus at 7:00 AM. Must sleep. Good night, and please keep us in your prayers.

Caleb Loves His Mommy!!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouraging comments over the past two days. While we are still four days into a lifetime journey, we definitely turned the corner yesterday. It was like a little switch just clicked for Caleb at the breakfast table. Mer was feeding him, and suddenly everything was OK. While he still seems to reach for Dad, esp when he is upset, he is comfortable and content, and even giggly happy with Mom, too. What a relief. Please keep up those great prayers. Thank you.

Today we went to a local village. Above, you can see the kids and Mer standing in one. Did you know that they fertilize rice patties with "natural" - I mean "organic" - fertilizer? Oy Vey, did that place have a particular aroma. The people were sooooo friendly, though. We enjoyed our time there.
Then we were off to the world's largest Ferris Wheel. If you look in the bottom right corner of this picture above, you will see people. It gives you a slight perspective of it's size. After seeing the worlds largest public square (Tiananmen) we would be foolish to not also see the worlds largest Ferris Wheel. It moves very slowly, and takes about 1/2 an hour to go around. Very cool. Below, you will see evidence of Caleb's contentment with Mom. Considering I took the picture, and he is not crying, this is incredible progress from yesterday. The blue tint is not from your aging eyes, but from the blue tint to the glass in the Gondola.
Below, is a great picture Abbie took of the Ferris Wheel from afar. As you can tell, it was foggy, so the view wasn't all that great, but it was still great fun.
However, the wheel wasn't nearly as much fun as the fun park surrounding it. Some parts of human nature are universal: the desire to have fun being one of them. The kids had a blast here. Lots of climbing, jumping, swinging, shooting, etc.
On a final note, this whole attachment experience has given me some great faith lesson. In my reading the other morning I was in Joshua's farewell address. He basically says, he is going to die soon, and the people have some choices to make about what kind of lives they will live and whether or not they will seek to know God. He says, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Throughout the entire discourse, the question is always about our love for God, never visa versa. God's love is a given. The choice to love really lies in the hands of the people.

Our love for Caleb is a given. Try as we might to make him love us, we cannot. We can only love him into loving us. It takes time, but is a choice he has got to make. We are showing him that love through everything we do for him. The hard part is the patient waiting. But isn't that true with many of our adventures in parenting? We show our children our love, and anxiously await their response? In what ways is God telling you, "I love you" today?

Play Day and Bonding

Drum roll please...... not one bit of paperwork to be accomplished today. Instead we just played. We are now waiting for the completion of Caleb's passport. So, we will spend the next few days in Nanchang bonding and learning cultural stuff.

In this first picture, we are waiting in the hotel lobby for our travel group to assemble. There is one of these little fish ponds in every corner of the lobby. The kids love them, and if we ever loose them in China, this is where we will find them.



Our primary cultural activity for the day was a historical art community that was founded by some dude who used to be an emperor (I think). It seems he wasn't a very good one, and so his dynasty was overthrown, and he ended up in Nanchang, where the new dynasty built this very simple (in style) but large compound for him to reflect and work on his art. It seems he did a lot of both. This is one of the many inner courtyards, and one of the three opportunities in which Collin and Kathryn (more on her latter) stopped moving long enough for light to actually reflect off of them and allow for this photo opportunity. They look happy.

In addition to this one pic, they also posed for this group shot. This is our "travel group." They are another family from our agency who is also here to adopt. It is their second Chinese adoption.
The couple is Speed and Ann (in red). Their first adopted daughter, Kathryn, is in front of Speed. She is 5 years old and the perfect playmate for Collin. She taught him how to download games from one Nintendo DS to another. Our son is now more technologically advanced than both of his parents. The woman in blue is Jill, a close family friend, who came with Speed and Ann to help in the transition. They have just adopted LuLu, also in pink and in front of Ann. She is 11 years old and a real gem. While at the garden/art compound Mer took this great pic of Caleb. I just had to post it.








This last shot captures the end of our day. After our dining adventure last night, I was all for just going to McDonalds for some comfort food. After lunch, we spotted these two boys who couldn't keep their eyes off of us. I finally convinced them to let us take their picture. Overall, Caleb has had a rather mixed day. His happiness and contentment is directly related to his proximity to daddy. The closer the better. Mom, is a whole different story. As a whole, he isn't too thrilled to be around her right now. Problem is, I'm not really sure how to make sense of any of it. I've read enough about bonding and attachment to know that several things could be going on.
1) Caleb is still "shopping" for someone to bond with. Will tomorrow morning make this clear for us? Maybe he'll be more receptive to Mom tomorrow.
2) Caleb has bonded with me and it will take time for him to bond with Mom; a week, a month, something in between, something much longer? From what I've read it is not uncommon for children at this age to bond with Dad first, as they most likely did not have a very active father role where they were. Mom has a tougher battle in that she has some competition from Foster Mom who still holds a near and dear place in her heart. Do we foster this established connection with me, or really encourage the one with Mom now?
3) Caleb is grieving. It's the third day and a common time for this. However, I've not read much about 15 month old grieving. It doesn't make sense to me that it is possible at that cognitive and developmental level.
4) Caleb is teething like crazy, and just totally loco. I'm not sure how this plays into his connection to dad and aversion to mom, but had to put it in the mix as a possible factor.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. (If you'd rather email your advice than post it I completely understand. Please send any info to revtomharris@gmail.com . )

Prayers would be even more coveted.

A final thought, if you are putting together your "what should I bring to China" list, place Orajel on your list. I didn't see it on any lists I looked at, it is not avail in China, well worth the minimal space and weight it takes in your suitcase, and we sure wish we had some.

The Scoop on Caleb

First, here is Caleb’s internet debut

P’i / I,oooo [[[[[[[[[[[[

I’m not too sure what it means, but he is was pretty stoked to give it a try.

Second, here are the answers to some questions about he little guy.

Favorite Toy: Right now, his favorite toy seems to be Daddy. We are hoping that he soon includes Mom on his Top 10 list. In terms of inanimate objects, he is most enamored with rattles.

Clothes: he is wearing 18-24 month sizes. The clothes he was received in are hard to describe, but I’ll give it a shot: 4 layers. From outside in, it went like this: Heavy puffy jacket on top, then a knit layer top and bottom, sweater layer top and bottom, then diaper (thankfully). While we are still layering him, lets just say we’ve modified the technique a bit.

English words: Mommy and Dada are top of the list. We are trying not to use Mama as he cries when he hears the word as he probably expects his foster mother to round the bend a moment. It’s a tough go here.

Has he eaten any American foods yet? I’m proud to say that he had is first McDonalds fries today. To say he loved them is an understatement. Other than that it is tough to tell what he is eating is purely American. What is the difference between an American or Chinese fried egg, Mandarin Orange, etc. When it comes to noodles, he is all Chinese.

What does he calls us? Right now I don’t notice him calling us anything. While he may be saying something, I can’t distinguish Chinese baby talk from American infant babble. I like to think that when he says “de” he is trying to say Dada, I just don’t know. Let’s say he is, though. What do you think?

Where will he sleep when we get home? Two nights and he has slept in two places. First night he slept between us in the bed. We read that is where he slept with his foster mother. We also read that he liked a 12:30 AM snack. Since he didn’t wake for the snack the first night, we realized that there is some room for interpretation in his “instructions.” So, the second night he was in the crib right next to the bed. Sooooo much better – at least it was for us. He didn’t seem to mind at all. We are hoping to continue this trend.

Weight and height. He certainly seems to weigh the 26 pounds, and while he may not be three feet tall, he doesn’t seem too short, either. His docs say he is 76 cm tall, and I think that is about 31 inches tall.

For the remainder of our stay in Nanchang we will try to accomplish some more bonding - esp with Caleb and Mer. It just takes time, food, and a whole lot of love - none of which she has ever been short on. Tomorrow we go to a local village, the worlds largest Ferris Wheel, and I'm certain some sort of eating will be involved. A few more days of paperwork, and then we fly to Guangzhou for more paperwork and bonding.

Well, Mer has gone with one of the other adoptive mothers for a brief “retreat.” Since I now have kid duty with three, I’m off to try to reclaim my status as SuperDad.

Talk to you all later.