Friday, March 14, 2008

One "Last" Thing

Today, at the dinner table, Collin informed us that we are leaving for China in nine days. In the hurry of the moment – and the utter shock of 9 DAYS – it never dawned on me to check the young lad’s math. So, it’s not nine days, it is twelve days. (I guess I know what school work we’ll be doing on in China.) Never the less, our departure is now being measured in days; not years, months, or even weeks. Wow.

In another blog I was reading a while back the author was talking about all of her pending “lasts”: her “last weekend,” her “last day at work,” her “last time walking the dog,” her last moment of this, that or the other, before her life would utterly change. At the time of reading I couldn’t quite understand what on earth she was talking about. I thought to myself, “Your adoption is such an exciting thing, how can you be so worried about all of these ‘lasts’?” But, now that our departure is so close, I am beginning to understand what she was feeling with her pending departure, and I appreciate her candor.

While there is this tremendous sense of joy in the new chapter we are starting as a family, at the same time there is also a keen awareness that life in the Harris household is about to be very different. In this sense I think we are all aware of our “lasts.”

Yet, as I write this I have to wonder what the big deal is. It is not that any of us have the impression that our “lasts” will never happen again. Mer and I will still read to the kids as we tuck them in; we will still go for walks around the block, and practice doing the perfect cannon ball into the pool. We’ll still cook burgers on the grill, and tell silly stories around the dinner table. In fact, in hindsight, every addition to our family has made our “lasts” seem just a glimmer when compared to the brightness of the new blessing we received. Every new addition to our family has made our current moments far better that the “lasts” we clung to.

Point is, I am again reminded that life just keeps getting better. A new addition to our family doesn’t mean that our limited supply of love is now going to be divided into smaller portions – and more “lasts.” Rather, a new addition to our family means that more love will be multiplied – and we will discover new “firsts.” Maybe, it's Dad who needs to remember to check his own math when it comes love.