Answers to Some Questions

Thank you for so many great comments. I often get so wrapped up in reading them, I forget to actually answer them. Lisa, had asked a few great questions a few days ago, and it seemed like a nice thing to do to actually answer her questions. Since the comments are public (I think), this seems a fitting forum to answer.

The first question was, "How do you find your ability to shop and interact so far - meaning - have you felt limited in speaking with folks as a result of the language barrier?" There are certainly some barriers to communicating, but this has been a great lesson in being intentional, clear, creative, and patient. However, people have been very helpful. The merchants in the places where we have been know enough English to get their point across, and to understand yours. I have not yet ventured into the back alleys where only the local people buy only Chinese things that some crazy American wouldn't want.

Here is an example of how it has worked. When we were at the great wall, it was sprinkling and windy. Of course the kids left their rain parkas at home or at the hotel, so we had to buy some. Walking to the wall their are gobs of vendors. (While China is a communist country politically, it is a VERY clearly a capital driven country economically). I saw some of those plastic, disposable parkas and pointed. Through hand gestures I told the man I wanted one adult and two children's. He wrote 120 on a sheet of paper to tell me how much. I wrote 10 on a sheet of paper knowing 15 was my target (thanks to our great guide's advice). He said "No," scoffed at my offer, knocked on his head and used the back of his hand to check the temperature on my forehead (it seems that is the "loco" sign in China). We went back and forth until I smiled put it down and walked away. He ran after me saying "OK." All of that communication and only two words were said. Other interactions have been very pleasant. People smile and show you their camera when they want to take your picture, ordering from restaurants is done via pictures and fingers showing how many of something you want. Somehow it all works - especially with a smile. You can really say a lot without words.

The next question was, "How have you found the Chinese to be in interacting with them, i.e.,-friendly, etc.?" They are very friendly. Like all cultures you will find a few crumudgins here and there. But for the most part, people are very eager to help and interact with us.

Here's an example. One evening I took the subway to get us some dinner. Returning home, I got off at the right stop, but went out the wrong exit. It was raining and I wanted to be sure to come out on the right corner of the intersection. Anyhow, as stood there looking at the map, a very nice Chinese lady asked in pretty good English if she could help me. When I told here where I was going, she realized I needed to go back through the gate - which meant paying again. She went and explained my situation to the security officer, who waved me through and sent me on my way. New Yorkers are pretty helpful, but can you imagine trying getting a Transit worker to let you back through the gate?

It has been helpful to learn, though that there are some Chinese cultural differences that most Americans would just consider rude. When you recognize it as cultural difference, it is much easier to understand and to blend in (Yeah, like I can actually blend in in China). Americans form lines for everything. We are like ants to an ant hill. Chinese don't believe in lines. For all their belief in social harmony and order, lines are not part of that equation. I think its a Zen thing; but don't quote me. They are more like bees to a honey pot. Both systems work. You just need to know which one you are operating in. If you think you are waiting in line in China, you are not; you are just standing there. Just stick your hand or foot or body in and you will get what you want and be were you need to be.

All in all the Chinese are a very friendly and helpful group of people. We feel very safe - except when crossing the street - and are enjoying every moment.

And Hereeeeeeee's Caleb!!!

Well, my friends, what you’ve all been waiting for… actually, we’ve been waiting a good bit, as well. After a hurried morning to finish packing, eat breakfast, in order to catch our flight to Nanchang, we finally have Caleb. So, here is his world premier….

After arriving in Nanchang we were taken to our hotel where we unpacked, Mer and our guide, Lisa, ran to a local grocery to pick up some diapers, sippie cups, etc. We then met in the lobby, went to the CCA (Civil Affairs Office), and received Caleb. Let’s just say he was not a happy boy. We arrived and he was sound asleep. Not only should you never wake a sleeping baby, you should never awake a sleeping Chinese baby and surround him with a bunch of very strange looking white folks. He cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. Lisa, our guide, told us that he was very fond of and attached to his foster mother. Meredith and Abbie were the best at consoling him. He is still trying to figure me out. For the most part, he cries when he sees me. He’ll get over it… I hope.

In reading blogs of those who have been on this journey before, I can’t even begin to count the number of people who wrote of their particular bonding (or lack there of) experience. All of them expressed concern and bewilderment as to how they could not be welcomed with open arms by their new little bundle of joy. I never imagined being “the one.” If you are reading this now as a potential adopter, realize that your new child just might not think you are the greatest thing to come along since sliced bread. When it does happen to you, realize that it is not really about you at that moment, and that your time will come. It was helpful to remember that this takes time, and the poor little guy is scared beyond belief. Wouldn’t you be?

I tried explaining it to Collin like this. Collin’s only concern in coming to China was that he would get separated from us and then be lost in China. Every hotel that we stay in we give him a card with the hotel name, address, and phone number (in Chinese), so that he can show it to anyone and get back “home.” Well, Caleb really did get lost. He is lost in China. Collin understands why Caleb is crying, now. Simply put, it will take him time to reconstruct his world: who gives him love, what is safe and not safe, who meets his needs, etc. He has a lot to learn; don’t you think?

Upon returning to the hotel, we had a bit of what you might call a breakthrough. I gave Caleb a cracker/cookie thing. Apparently he likes them, and he likes to share them. Upon putting one in his hand, he immediately stuck his arm out and tried to stick the thing in my mouth. When in Rome, do as the Romans to, so I took a nibble - not too bad. He was then ready to eat, and eat, and eat. It was actually a very moving moment. He was done crying, looked happy, and so I took advantage of the opportunity to give him back to Mom before he started crying again. I want him to have happy memories of me. Not sad ones.

Considering my work done with child #3, I turned my attention to child #2 (Collin) and headed out to find some sustenance for my family. Baby crackers and borrowed snacks simply wouldn’t cut it for tonight. After perusing the hotel’s options, I returned with nothing more than word that room service was on the way with food for all. Fortunately, they delivered on their promise and we all ate well.

That’s all I know for now, and will post more as our adventure continues to unfold. Tomorrow, we are back to the CCA for more paperwork, and adventures in the life of Caleb. I have no idea what the day holds, but I know Who holds it and because of that it will be a great day.

Pictures I Couldn't Post Earlier

Update on Caleb

It is about 4:00 in the afternoon and we just returned from a very rewarding (though very cold) day out. We had an adoption orientation, visited the Temple of Heaven, and Tiananmen Square. The two sites of Chinese culture were nice, but we were just too cold to really enjoy them. The kids were great troopers, but there are only so many buildings you can expect a nine and five year old to enjoy seeing.

Just outside the Temple of Heaven we experienced what we had heard often happens to American children when they visit China: they become instant celebrities. Abbie, Collin, and their friend, Morgan, must have had about twenty pictures taken of them with some very friendly and excited Chinese tourists. It was great fun.

The highlight of the day, however was the orientation. Not only did we get some good information about our upcoming travel, tips for navigating Chinese culture, and updated itineraries, we also received some updated information and pictures of Caleb. In a nutshell he is a healthy and happy boy. He now weighs 26 pounds and is about 3 feet tall. If memory serves correctly, his height will fit right into the Harris family. He eats both regular meals and snacks continually throughout the day. I also noticed that he likes a bottle at about 12:00 PM. We’ll be working on that one. Apparently this is a “very important meal for him. If he doesn’t have it, he will cry.” We’ll be working on that one. He loves to be sung to, loves music, and is very persistent in that “if he wants to learn something, he will put all his heart into it.” He is walking fully on his own, speaks some baby babbles, is shy with strangers, and is very ticklish and giggly. Sounds perfect, doesn’t he.

Mer took some pictures of the pictures so we can post them for you. I tried to post them, but can't get pix to post right now. Will try again latter.

Tomorrow we leave for Nanjing, where we will meet Caleb in the late afternoon or early evening. I’ll see what I can do about posting some pics tomorrow night (Nanchang time.) You’ll have to do your own math to figure out what time, and what day that is for you. I’m having a hard enough time figuring out what day it is here.

God bless you all, and thank you for your continued prayers, support, and encouragement.

It's "Almost" Spring in the Harris Family

Our journeys today brought us out of the city of Beijing and into the country where we saw the Great Wall. People have said, pictures don't do it justice, and they are right. The sheer size and beauty of this place are impossible to capture on film.

However, it is not just the Great Wall that makes this place so magnificent. Mer captured that one important point for us in this first shot. At first glance, it looks like nothing to particular and exciting is happening: The Great Wall disappears over a mountain range and is framed by some cold, bare tree branches. Not exactly what you'd expect from a shot of the Great Wall.
But, look again at everything else going on. In the foreground you see a few bright cherry blossoms - the first to emerge from a long winters sleep. Look again at those bare branches. They are not bare at all. These trees are covered with buds that are such a rich and deep burgandy you could easily to mistake them for brown bumps on the bare branches from which they are emerging. The entirety of the surrounding mountainsides are covered with this scene - a few early blossoms hinting at what is to come, while the remainder of them patiently wait for their preparation to be complete. The mountains radiate with this boldly subtle burgandy hue. It sooooo wants to be Spring here. You can just sense it in the air - but it is just not quite time yet.

We are soooo ready for Caleb to be here, but it is just not quite time yet. These last few days especially have been a time when God has been busily at work preparing us and Caleb for the Spring that is just around the corner. And what a great and Spring day it will be.

Seeing places like the Great Wall have not only been great for us get over jet lag and to reconnect with each other. Our touring Beijing has also provided us with great insight into where Caleb is from. We better understand the culture that has shaped his early development and will be able to tell him from first hand experience what China was like at the time he was born.


In the following pictures you can catch a glimpse of some of what we have been up to as we are being prepared for Caleb's coming into our family. Don't you wonder what he is up do at the same time?

Lest anyone think I just scanned a post card to help make my point, I had to post a shot of us actually on the Great Wall. It actually snowed significantly (by Florida standards, anyway). I was actually glad it snowed instead of rained. We would have all been soaked to the bone in rain. The snow made it much more pleasant. Special thanks are due to our good friend JoAnne for the children's most fashionable and warm sweatshirts. Thanks, JoAnne!!













The two following shots we just had to post. Today another adopting family joined us on our tour to the Great Wall. They have a nine year old daughter who was a great friend and playmate for Abbie. She needed some girl time, and boy did she get it today. I'm not sure which set of parents were more thrilled that they got along so well.
In the final shot, you can see how exhausting today was. After dinner, Collin fell asleep in the middle of reading, and this shot was too perfect to pass up.
Tomorrow is our Orientation with the adoption agency. We will spend the morning doing that. Then we head off to Tiananmen Square and the Temple of Heaven. If time permits, we will get to the Forbidden City. Sunday we fly to Nanchang and meet Caleb for the first time - probably late afternoon or early evening. So, for all of you at First Pres, we will have just received Caleb as you are beginning your Sunday worship service; a great reason to worship and give thanks to God for all he has done, is doing, and will do.

Thank you again for your comments and emails. It is great to hear the encouragement and support from so many friends and family.

Suddeness Happens?

What a phenomenal day! To combat the jetlag we took an active approach, and we were sure active today. After waking up at 3:00 AM because our bodies had no idea what time or day it was, we began with a great breakfast at the hotel. We were actually ready to start our day at six in the morning and were eating by 6:30. Note to self: the kids no longer have a reason to have a hard time being ready for school by 8:30. Anyhow, most hotels here include breakfast as part of the overnight rate. So, we took full advantage of it. I was reminded what an international place we are in. While there was plenty of traditional Chinese food available for our dining pleasure. There was also a very noticeable effort to meet European and American tastes. We had a rather eclectic breakfast, to say the least.

Whenever, I’m in a foreign country, I like to at least try to eat what the “natives” sustain themselves on. So, I had to try the Wanton Soup Station (very similar in concept to an omelet station). You pick what you want for your soup, the dude boils it up, dumps it on some wantons, you add your sauce and spices, and head for your table. I had no idea what I was doing, but gave it a shot anyway. As I sat there wondering how what was the best way to concoct this mixture, I received a wonderful reminder that when it comes to food the best way is the way you like it. There sat a man with an Eggo style waffle, folded in half, stuffed with cabbage, cramming the whole thing into his mouth with a pair of chopsticks, and smiling from ear to ear. It was a great start to the day.

We took a brief taxi ride to the Silk Market. This is basically a multilevel department store that contains everything from a swap meet to a grocery story to more expensive items at higher levels. We went to stock up on a few personal items, and Collin had his first experience in bargaining. He ended up with some small plastic dinosaurs – a must for every young boy going to China, apparently. Considering he wanted a giant remote controlled, grasping, stomping, dancing cross between Spiderman and a Transformer, I think I was lucky we got out for only three dinosaurs. Here’s how bargaining works in China. The merchant tells you how much something is, you offer about 25% of that, he gives you that “Are you out of your #!@% mind” look, then he says something about his poor family but that since you are his friend he wants to make a special price for you, you compliment him on the expensive looking jewelry he is wearing, and when all is said and done you end up close to half of the original offer.

Another important occurrence at this leg of our journey was our first encounter with the infamous “squatty potty” pictured below. Thank goodness for the “handicapped” stalls that house the more traditional – and frankly, more useful – western style buckets. (The picture is sideways - just in case you are wondering what on earth that is supposed to be.)

We then took off across town to the Beijing Zoo. The zoo itself was pretty depressing. Exploring the zoo with the family was priceless. We got to see Pandas, which is a must in any Chinese zoo. In addition, Collin discovered a hidden talent for rock climbing. Best of all though, we discovered the very helpful sign pictured below. Considering that, yesterday I was bemoaning a complete inability to comprehend any written form of Chinese, I ought to shut my yap and count my blessings that someone took the time both to warn me of the location of "suddenness" and to enlighten me as to how I might tame the unpredictable nature of “suddenness.”

There is much more to write about the Summer Palace, our dinner adventures, and the incredibly friendly and kind people we encountered today. But those stories will have to wait. Plus, it is getting late and I must get to my beauty rest. A full day awaits us tomorrow: Great Wall, and we will meet the other families that we will be traveling with who are also here to adopt. Thank you for you comments, checking in, and prayers.

Travel Shots

Happy Kids Waiting for the Plane in Newark
















Abbie doing well on the way to China















Collin over the North Pole. We didn't see Santa.
















Abbie's first picture in China. Beijing Airport.














Back at the hotel after dinner. One sleepy boy, two tired parents, one very wired photographer.